What Are You Waiting For?

This morning, I received an anguished email from a good friend of mine. Her sister died suddenly and wholly unexpectedly yesterday, less than a month after their mother passed away.

I find myself caught between tears for her pain and rage on her behalf. As she said in her email, "Life is so unfair!" What is shockingly clear to me in this moment is that all my hesitations, fears, uncertainties, and thoughts about, "As soon as X happens, I'll be happy/be able to do Y/stop worrying/whatever," are meaningless.

A certain sense of caution is good. It's obvious that there are some things that in the first enthusiastic moment seem like a great idea, but with a cooler and more practical view become less attractive. Likewise, some of life's undertakings absolutely require risk management and contingency planning. If you have always wanted to travel around the world, that's great, but quitting your job tomorrow and booking flights and cruise tickets is clearly not the best approach.

But when things feel risky or if we feel vulnerable about doing something, we create reasons not to do them. For instance, if I'm not secure in my relationship with my manager, I'll hesitate to ask her for a promotion, even if I feel I deserve it. And I'll make up stories about why I'm not asking. "I shouldn't have to ask for a promotion - it should be obvious that I deserve it!"

Big dreams and big goals are subject to hesitation and delay. In part, this is because when we never try, we never face the realities of failure - or of success. Or we may simply be overwhelmed by the size of the goal or dream. But there's also that internal critic insisting that we can't do it, we'll look foolish, we'll lose our friends and all our money, and so on and so forth.

Many times, too, we feel trapped in a situation and believe there are no alternatives. With all due respect, I have to say that this is hogwash! There are always alternatives, but it often takes someone else to see them. When you're stuck, ask for help!

I wonder what dreams and goals my friend's sister had. I wonder what unasked questions she had, and what she left unsaid to friends and family. I wonder what alternatives she never saw. I wonder. If she could speak to us now, what would she advise us to do about our dreams, goals, questions, and pent-up words?

I know that I will be taking some extra risks in the upcoming weeks. In her memory, I will be stepping outside my comfort zone to make my dreams and goals become real, before it's too late for me, too.

What about you? What are you waiting for?

"We all have the extraordinary coded within us, waiting to be released." Dr. Jean Houston (1937 - ), American writer, philosopher, and teacher.