Jokes for Jay Leno 02: President Bush
This is the second in a series to help Jay Leno find jokes for the Tonight Show. We focus on news about President Bush.
Cost of Iraq Occupation
When no WMDs were found in Iraq, President Bush said we went in there to get Sodom Hussein and to give the Iraqi people a constitution. So far the cost of that constitution is $170 billion dollars. That’s $635 for each Iraqi.
We could have sent each of them an individual copy of our constitution by UPS® for $46.69.
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Fishing in Germany
The President told a German newspaper that the best day on the job was when he caught a 7.5 pound perch.
The biggest perch ever caught was 4 pounds 3 ounces caught in 1865.
Well, all fishermen lie!
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Bush Disobeys Law
The Boston Globe reported that President Bush claimed Presidential Privilege to disobey 750 laws passed under his tenure.
Richard Nixon said, “I am not a crook!”
President Bush evidently thinks, “I can always find a hook!”
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President Bush Look-Alike
Brent Mendenhall is in demand as a "George W. Bush" impersonator and look-alike in TV, films, corporate meetings and political gatherings. Brent has appeared on the Tonight Show.
When asked what he was going to do now that the President’s rating are so low, Brent said, “Plastic surgery comes to mind.
Last night I was mugged and they stole my saddle.
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Bush Versus Bush
George H.W. Bush flew Avengers from USS San Jacinto. On September 2, 1944 he was shot down over Chichi Jima. Bush parachuted safely and earned a DFC for delivering his bomb load after his TBF had been hit.
President George W. Bush climbed into the co-pilot seat of a naval jet and on landing stepped out on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln to a banner that said “Mission Accomplished.” He earned the scorn of Americans who think he screwed up an unnecessary war.
END
The End
Bush, WW II, Avenger, Mission Accomplished, humor, Jay, Leno, Tonight Show, look-alike, war, cost
copyright©2006 John T. Jones, Ph.D.
John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself "Taylor Jones, the hack writer."
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