It's Okay!

When you were little, your parents probably tried to comfort you with those words. "It's okay. It'll be okay."

And you probably stopped believing them pretty quickly, too. When your knees were scraped or the big kid down the street was picking on you, it wasn't okay, no matter what they said!

As adults, we spend a lot of time thinking, "It's not okay." When you feel bad, physically or emotionally, you put a lot of effort into believing that you should feel different - better, happier, less demanding, whatever it may be. When you question your anger or sadness, or when you feel self-conscious or guilty about enjoying success, you're saying, "It's not okay."

What if your parents were right? What if how you feel - no matter what that feeling is, no matter how uncomfortable or confused or conflicted you are - what if it's okay?

The reality is, you do feel like that, right at this minute. You do feel angry, or sad, or self-conscious, or any of a thousand other emotions, some of which can be amazingly ambivalent. You do feel stress, or pain, or stiffness, or any of a thousand other physical sensations - and they too can be ambivalent.

Denying your emotions and physical sensations is the equivalent of denying two thirds of who you are. If all you experience as "okay" is your intellect - your mental process and thoughts (and I'll bet you sometimes question how okay your thoughts are as well) - you're only experiencing part of your life.

You may be asking, "But if I believe it's okay, how can I create change or do anything differently?"

You have to know where you are before you can get where you want to go. If you're on an eastbound highway in the United States, you're not going to reach the Pacific Ocean, no matter how long you drive, unless you first accept which direction you're currently heading. Until you do that, you can't turn around and drive west.

Likewise, if you're often impatient, you can't miraculously change just by denying your impatience. You have to accept the impatience - it's okay - so you can understand what causes it and explore ways to change.

Stop for a moment, right now, and think about how you feel.

How does your body feel, right now at this minute? What if it's okay for it to feel that way? What if it's perfectly okay to feel tension in your shoulders? What if it's okay to notice that you have a tiny bit of a headache?

And emotionally - what if it's okay to be irritated or annoyed? What if it's okay to be happy?

It's impossible to take action when you're wrapped around the axle of fighting what's true. When you check in with yourself like this, really notice how you feel and accept that it's okay to feel that way, you'll experience a spaciousness that you may find surprising. From that spaciousness, you can take action with renewed energy and freedom.

I challenge you to take a moment at least once a day to check in with yourself. Experience how you feel - how all of you feels - and let it be okay. You may be surprised!

"Our feelings are our most genuine path to knowledge." Audre Lorde, 1934 - 1992; American writer, poet, and activist.