The prolific King of the Keyboard has been writing articles for publication in Ezine @rticlesâ„ for a relatively short 18 months. Let’s see, that’s 18 times approximately 30 days in a month ... um ... carry the 3 ... um ... about 540 days. And what has the Lance Meister done in that period of time. Oh, he’s just submitted"and this is tricky because as I’m writing the count could go up by thirty or so"6200 articles. That’s all I’m talking about"6200 articles! Back to the math: 6200 divided by 540 ... um ... drop the 0 ... bring down the 8 ... looks like a whopping 11.5 articles a day, every day, for a year and a half.
I tip my mouse to the Grand Pooh-Bah of Punditry! How does he do it?
I’m approaching fifty articles and thinking I’m doing pretty darned good. Then I notice his count has gone up seventy-one in the amount of time it took me to click ‘submit article’. When I pull up the Wizard of Words list to see what he has been up to, a slight brown-out occurs in my neighborhood (so I don’t do it often, just when I need to feel weak and unworthy which I pretty much feel most of the time).
He’s unbelievable. He knows how to wash just about everything on the planet and has an article full of instructions for each. Cars, trucks, boats, airplanes, fleets of airplanes, even power washing Afghanistan! With robotics yet! He’s the mean of clean.
Another deal is abatements! He’s big on the abatements already! The only thing he can’t seem to abate are his articles. And don’t get him started on government, religion or royalty! Oh baby! He’s something. What a rascal!
But the most noble thing Sir Lance Write-a-lot has shared with us is his secret to writing articles faster than a speeding bullet. First and foremost is to think “production”. Holy mackerels, that’s brilliant. And when Lance thinks production, he thinks titles. Forget content! Just titles, like two hundred titles for starters. The man is God! Then he has this whole process for gettin’ busy! It’s quite a little cottage industry Mr. Winslow has brewin’ there.
Unfortunately, as noble as he is, and I say this with no disrespect, the man is a real cacasodo; with little closers like, “I’ve written 6150 articles so far. How many have you written?” I guess he has a right to be arrogant considering the next closest person has a mere 1595 articles, almost contemptible quite frankly, certainly not good enough for mentioning names.
Oh well, I better start my list of titles. But to be honest, it’ll take me the better part of a year to think of 200 things to write about. Meanwhile, ‘The Man’ has already posted 22 articles in the time it took me to write this. And wait until he reads it.
All I have to say is “I’m a dead man writing”.
This article was written by humorist Robert Crane. Author of "Still Living in the Sixties" and "The Single Adventure of Inlin Freebosh", Robert also writes a popular blog of casual observations and polical commentary, almost always unfair and never balanced, all of which can be freely read at his website located in the outer edges of the "internets":
