No matter who you are or how long you have been a Christian, you will still have times when you get hurt and offended. As a Christian, the goal is to learn how to deal with hurts properly. Learning to respond instead of reacting is the key. If you have been hurt in the same way before, then it will be easier to take on the offense and react. The reaction will be based on a combination of the present hurt and the past hurts as well. If you have learned to forgive when hurtful things happen instead of being offended, you will be able to respond correctly. Forgiveness therefore, must become a way of life in order to be able to respond in a Christ-like manner no matter what the situation is.
The problem is that your soul has a filing cabinet where past hurts and offenses are stored that have not been dealt with properly. This is why when someone does something that hurts you; you will suddenly remember how many times they have done the same thing before.
The only way to be free from past hurts is to forgive. Ask the Lord to help you forgive. Forgiveness is releasing the person who hurt you, and releasing your right to hold the offense against them any longer. Forgiveness is not saying that what they did was not wrong; forgiveness is releasing them to God. You will not be free from the pain caused by the offense until you release the offender. Once you forgive them, your filing cabinet will be cleaned out and you can begin to deal with hurts on a daily basis instead of letting things pile up.
“Forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Eph 4:32
Forgiveness is releasing our right to demand payment for sins against us by surrendering to God and letting Him be the judge and jury.
When someone has sinned against us and we are hurt, the automatic response is to be offended. If we allow ourselves to be offended, then we build a prison and hold the person in this prison until they pay what they owe. This is unforgiveness. If we stay offended, we will turn next and betray the one who offended us. In Mathew 24:10-12, Jesus warns us of the progression of being offended:
- Offended
- Betrayal
- Hatred
- False prophet (speaking against the person who hurt you)
- Love toward the person waxes cold
Forgive each other as God has forgiven you. (Eph. 4:32)
We must forgive 70 x 7"meaning forgive again, and again, and again.
The moment we feel frustration or anger, we need to confess it immediately so it does not get lodged in our hearts.
Sometimes, people think they have forgiven; and they may have even prayed a prayer of forgiveness, but it still did not happen in their heart. We often do not really know if we have truly forgiven because the resentment has been buried for a long time.
Resentments get buried in the heart several ways:
- when we are small children and do not know how to forgive
- when we do not recognize our anger (we learn to turn off emotions and just cope)
- when we refuse to forgive
To discover buried resentments in your own heart:
- Start by asking the Lord to help you remember a time you were hurt and instead of dealing with it, you stuffed it.
-When you think of that person or persons, does your heart leap up in love toward them?
-Do you want fellowship with them?
-Do you rehearse speeches you want to say to them if you have the opportunity?
-Do you want to get even?
Are you still angry?
The Bible says to be angry and sin not. Anger is usually suppressed. To forgive someone, you must let the anger come to the surface and live long enough to feel it (this is how you own it). If you have been hurt but fail to own the anger, you have only forgiven on the surface. The anger keeps the pain buried, and therefore forgiveness is not completed.
- You do not necessarily need to feel like forgiving.
- We choose to forgive out of obedience to the Lord.
- We ask the Lord for His power to enable us to forgive.
Are there any signs in your life that indicate that you may be harboring unforgiveness toward someone?
Go to livingwatersministry.com for the rest of the article and more on forgiveness.
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