A Toad in Trouble
Recently, I was deeply stirred by the healing power of acceptance and love after hearing a dear friend’s story about his five year old son. While the young boy was shopping with his mother he created some trouble in the store, resulting in a scolding from the store clerk and his mother. With childhood wonder, innocence and regret the wee lad explained to his parents, it was the “toad” who got carried away in the store, not he. The toad indeed, was very sorry.
From then on, each time “bad” behaviour erupted, my friend and his wife used the toad metaphor to help their five year old identify inappropriate behaviour. This occurred a time or two until one afternoon at home the young boy had a huge upset with his mom, ending with him spouting mean words. Both mother and father, heated and frustrated, again chastised their young son, “The toad is misbehaving again. We don’t want to see the toad now.” The episode ended with the strained mother departing alone for what had been a much anticipated shopping trip. The loss of the shopping outing and the painful family upset left the little lad wholly distraught. My dear friend, being a wise and caring soul tried to comfort his boy but to no avail.
A Bell Rings in the Soul
Then, as my friend described it, it was as though a bell rang in his soul. I knew well what he meant. During pivotal times with my own son this bell had rung in my soul awakening me to the significance of the moment. In that heightened awareness habitual response is suspended. In a flash of clarity my friend understood the “toad” was hurting so he invited the toad to come near and talk.
“The toad can’t come see you now,” came the unhappy response. “The toad is hiding behind the corner but the nice puppy or the electrician will play with you.” As with all children this age the boy loved pretending to be animals or “workers.” Listening to the little boy’s words with the keen ears of the soul, my friend then spoke deeply from his heart. “Oh! Poor little toad! That poor little toad must be so lonely, hiding by himself and unable to come out.” The sweet little boy burst into tears and rushed into his daddy’s arms. Together they wept as my friend softly reassured the small boy, “Oh, little Toad, I am so sorry we told you to go away. You’re a good little toad - sometimes you just get a little carried away but we love you and never meant to push you away.” Drying his tears the young son revealed, “Dad - that toad is clever too.” Great healing filled their hearts.
Kiss the Toad; Find Love
What a gift for us all! Our toad to be loved! Within each of us dwells a lonely toad filled with fear and hurt. When our fear and pain croaks to us we have been trained to squash it - to be rid of this dark side. “Enough! Stop that! Buck up! Suck it up! Shut-up! Get over it! What is wrong with you? Grow up” Just as this would further damage that sweet little boy - we hurt ourselves by despising the toad.
As in the sage teachings of fairytales we see it is in kissing the toad (frog) that we transform all that we first reviled, into the love of our life - our prince (or princess). By accepting and unconditionally loving the beast we discover its beauty (and cleverness!). Let us all practice kissing the toad!
Teresa Proudlove is the publisher/editor of http://www.yourlifework.com: support and inspiration for your work and life. Teresa has been inspiring, supporting, and mentoring over 3000 people upon their lifework path for fourteen years, leading workshops and authoring many internationally published articles.
